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Guangzhou Getaway Day 1

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  I had wanted to save that day of leave for the end of the year and go for one long trip all at once, but NS regulations mandated that my public holiday off-in-lieu had an expiry date - annoying, no doubt. But it did mean that I could plan a short trip to China with my parents. I picked   Guangzhou   and Shenzhen for the proximity, flight timings, flight price, and I also wanted to be with my mother who is Cantonese as she explored the city. I had been here once before in March when I stopped by  Guangzhou  and Shenzhen for a day each before going on to meet a friend in Hong Kong. This time I was determined to finish what I had started. I saved a whole bunch of places on Google maps / Amaps from the Michelin guide, general readings on the city, a very outdated NYT article on traveling  Guangzhou , and a couple spots recommended by Xiaohongshu / Douyin. Our flight was from 0355-0800 on China Southern. The plane arrived late but we rushed on board and reache...
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Waiting for bad things to be over

Four weeks from today (8 Sept) I'll be in my college having dinner in the hall. I can't wait to cross the last few weeks out of my calendar and be done with it. But I'm not there yet. I should write down what I feel about this period of my life before it's over. I want it to be over so badly. So much frustration and noise and exhaustion..  At the same time, I suspect a part of me will miss parts of this although it's smothered in too much pain right now to be noticed. It's amazing how much contradiction can fit into a single person. Now that it's almost over, what am I going to remember from these 2 years of my life? What do I want to remember? What's worth remembering? Are some parts worth forgetting? Similar questions with slightly different connotations.  It's been so long since I put my thoughts into words, much less in a reflective way like I'm trying to do with this entry. I stopped journaling because I couldn't see the point in it anym...
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 I listened to mitski for the first time in maybe a month again today. all the old songs again, Francis Forever , I Bet On Losing Dogs , and a couple newer ones too that I never got to share with her. Bug Like An Angel, and my favourite song from the new album -  Buffalo Replaced.  I save mitski for special occasions when I can feel it building up and I need to release, need some help to cry. Catharsis, from Greek katharos , "pure". I sometimes find myself using the word "pure" to describe to myself a sense of unbridled uninhibited emotion and a strong sense of being fully alive. It can be joyful or painful or both or neither. What the actual feeling itself is is secondary to the fact that you experience it fully. You are there, breathing, feeling, alive.  Over the past few years I structured my life around chasing these experiences with the firm belief that they would enrich me and fill my life to the brim. I think I was pretty successful. But I've been having...
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